Thursday, July 31, 2008


I was a baby back then. I was barely 21 and still living with my parents. I was a perpetual procastinator and I dropped out of more classes than I passed. The previous year I bought a 2001 mustang. That car was my baby. I enjoyed driving to nowhere in particular with my windows down and radio blaring. I bought lots of clothes, shoes, and makeup. I ate out every day, and I had no real responsibilites except for that car.

I had decided earlier that year that it was time to get married. I was muslim for 2 years by then and well it was just the thing to do. I struggled a lot to fit into the muslim community. I struggled to forget my past and be taken seriously. Muslims that I knew before Islam had a hard time accepting me as a muslim and I needed to get away. I needed a fresh start.

As a joke, my friends and I registered for islamic matrimonial sites. While I put the profile up on a whim, I seriously hoped that it would work. I received, literally, hundreds of responses. I only responded to one.

Flashforward to July 31, 2002. That was the day I was leaving to get married. It was barely sunrise and I ran around the house like a madwoman. Finished packing. Got dressed and said my goodbyes. My dad was bringing me to the airport. He was very quiet on the way, but before I walked through the security gates he asked me if I realy had to go. I promised him that I would be back and gave him a hug. I looked back to see him crying. My parents had been in shock the months leading up to this day. I informed them of my plans to marry and move over 1400 miles away. You see, no one in my family lives more than 20 minutes away from eachother. I was the rebel. The one who would set off and forge a new life. A new life without them. They were terrified and to be honest it took years for them to get over it.

I reached my destination in just under 3 hours and stepped off the plane to be greeted by my intended at the baggage claim. It was the first time that we had met face to face. In just over 24 hours we would be husband and wife. It was the craziest, impulsive and amazing decision I ever made.

The next day my life took a new turn. I went from carefree young twenty something to dutiful wife and mother in a years time. I immersed myself in Islam and my husband. We were building our life together and I was satisfied with every moment.

I enjoyed being in a new place with a new identity. No one knew the old me. Just ME.

I sit here, today, six years later reminiscing on the life we created together. It has not been perfect. NO WAY, not even close. It was ours though. I can look back on those early moments and see an innocence and simplicity. It was a time before school and lawyers and immigration. I never thought that one day I would be forced to go it alone again. This trial in our lives has taught me so much about my husband. He is honest. MashaAllah he is honest. I can't say enough how much I value this in him. He is honest in a brutal way, but I will take that over deception any day. He is a great provider and an exceptional father. He encouraged me to go to school and supported me fully while I studied. Most of all, he has waited patiently for us to be reunited and for that I love him more this day than I did then. Alhamdulillah


Blogger Aisha said...

MashAllah. That was a beautiful story. I cant imagine how hard it must be on you both to be apart. i was away from my husband for 6 weeks, and i came back to find him in pieces, and i found it so hard. And i was suppossed to be on vacation visiting family overseas with my almost 2 year old son. MashAllah, you both have been so patient, and i pray to Allah that inshAllah things will improve for you soon.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Rainbow In The Grey Sky said...

Aslamu alakum ukti
i have just come together with my dh after 3 yrs apart me with our kids in Algeria and him here , alhamduillah it true what they say, distance does make the heart grow fonder if the love is already there. What a lovely account and i thank you for sharring such a loving piece with us sister, i make dua Allah reunite you under khier ameen. you have done well dear sister from the high heeled days i am sure, we all have a past. I always say to sisters if you can get through the first 5yrs of marriage then mashaallah there is hope 10yrs you have made something specil, first 5yrs are usually a nightmare as yes thats how long it takes to get to know your partner and also changes like having kids , settling down in new homes ect takecare and hugs

7:29 AM  
Blogger UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

I had so much to say in response to this post but I don't remember...Are you sure we didn't know each other in school? I will ask DP maybe she will find the common thread...

6:36 AM  
Blogger Rainbow In The Grey Sky said...

dont hold back sister let it flow you somehow don't strike me as cyber shy and i have enjoyed getting know you and apprechaite comments on my blog you leave.

4:22 AM  
Blogger Yosra said...


You are living a life you never would have asked for...most of us are, it seems. Keep finding the beauty in it. Those who love you will inshahallah help you through.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Solace said...

What a nice post!

Becoming muslim can often change our lives in ways we could never have imagined.

Insha'Allah you and your dh will be together soon!

1:57 PM  
Blogger UmmAbdurRahman said...

You know UA-R it is quite possible we know eachother. Most of my muslim friends were in BR but I had some palestinian friends on the wank and some pakistanis in metry. hahahahah I'm trying to be a bit secretive about the locations.

I think we may have known some of the same people. I have a Q for you though. You know the commenter musulmana right? By any chance are the intials of her name JY???? I'm thinking I know who she is but I'm not positive.

9:58 AM  
Blogger UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

the answer to that question is yes. I was actually talking about friends before Islam though...But I totally got all of the abbreviations....

4:12 AM  
Blogger Umm Yehiya said...

mashaAllah walhamdulileh.

nice, pensive moment to pause and take it all in...all these last few years, amazing all that has gone into them. subhanAllah! -and be grateful. stuff comes up, other people come up with their problems, and you realize, mashaAllah, "Allah has given me great things."

I am so proud of you and your strength.

love you.

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Assalamu Aleikum wa Rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu,

I haven't been by your blog in a while, since you haven't been posting and today I come to visit and I read these comments.

We must know each other. I got all the abbreviations!

I would give you my e-mail but I don't want to leave it in the comments section.

I hope you are reunited with your husband soon, insha'Allah.


1:05 PM  
Blogger UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

I can pass it along if you want....

2:45 PM  
Blogger UmmAbdurRahman said...

UA-R send it to my msn okay :)

3:18 PM  
Blogger Umm Ibrahim said...

Assalaamu alaikum,

A very emotional post subhan Allah. You have come so far and insha'Allah you and your husband will be reunited soon.

12:50 AM  
Blogger The DP said...

Salam alaikoum
I have been AFK for a while but I have to agree with U-AR, I think we all must know each other from the jalihyya days LOL

LOVE this story. Macha Allah.

Btw, being "honest" aka "blunt" aka "overly frank" is what differentiates Algerians. LOL again.

9:03 AM  

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