Failure

I fell at work a few weeks ago. I remember walking down the street. It was a cool wet night. I tripped on a slippery cracked sidewalk. In what seemed like slowmotion I hit the ground. I saw it coming and tried everything to stop it. Do you know that feeling? The feeling of trying so hard. Fighting against the inevitable. When you realize you're going down it's already too late. You brace yourself hoping to soften the blow, but it seems as though you are running towards the ground and then you hit. It hurts. You get up, dust yourself off, check to see if anyone was looking, and keep walking.

I'm feeling the inevitable slowly creeping up on me. Only it's more of a rush and less of a creep. Does that even make sense? All my efforts go unnoticed. Not a single bit of gratitude. I pour out my heart and nothing is reciprocated. I wonder if he notices how much it hurts. He is never satisfied despite my best efforts. I mean it when I say this is my absolute best and it scares me that it's never going to be enough. Failure is inevitable.

How do I accept failure when there is so much at stake? I don't really have much of a choice. Unfortunately.......I see the ground getting closer and closer.